Man Of Letters

    In a letter to "The Economist," M. J. Shields, of Jarrow, England, points
out that George Bernard Shaw, among others, urged spelling reform, suggesting
that one letter be altered or deleted each year, thus giving the populace time
to absorb the change. Shields writes:

    For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be
replaced by either "k" or "s," and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the
alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch"
formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might well reform "w"
spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take on the same konsonant, while
Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i," and Iear 4 might fiks the
"g-j" anomili wonse and for all.

    Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear, with Iear 5
doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing
vowlz and rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Ier 15 or sou, it wud
fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c," "y" and "x" --bai
now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez --tu replais "ch," "sh" and
"th" rispektivili.

    Fainali, xen, aaft sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl,
kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. Haweve, sins xe Wely,
xe Airiy, and xe Skots du not spik Ingliy, xei wud hev to hev a speling siutd
to xer oun lengwij. Xei kud, haweve, orlweiz lern Ingliy az a sekond lengwij
et skuul!
                                      Iorz feixfuli,
                                      M. J. Yilz.